The Seven Deadly Incidents of Animal Abuse in the Bible

I. Exodus 15:19-21

Why drown the horses? Did the horses oppress the Jews?

II. Jeremiah 51:21

Someone is taking the phrase "breaking a horse" too

literally--like the way the Godpods read the Holey Bible.

III. Zechariah 12:4, 14:15

Yahweh panics and blinds the horses. Then afflicts the horses,

mules, camels, and asses with disease. The subtle serpent must

have had some leverage on Yahweh?

IV. Leviticus 16:21-22

A hapless domestic animal is abandoned in the wilderness with

no chance of animal rescue. Yet another goat song?

V. 2Samuel 8:4

Panic, whipping, blindness, drowning--now Yahweh commands

that the horses be crippled. Why does Yahweh punish horses?

Did Genesis miss something in the Garden of Eden?

VI. Judges 15:4-5

Samson's To Do List:

1. Round up 300 foxes

2. Line the foxes up tail to tail

3. Set fire to the tails of the foxes

4. Burn the crops of the Philistines by using the

terrorized flaming foxes.

This had to take the better part of a weekend, even with

God's help. But Samson saved a lot of time by setting

fire to the fox tails two at a time. Clever hero. That is

why Samson is the patron saint of suicide bombers.

VII. Mark 5:12-13

Jesus takes the advice of the unclean spirits and causes the

death of 2000 pigs. What ever happened to WWJD--as

in "get thee behind me"?

Caution: Animals have been injured and/or killed

in the fulfillment of God's word. Do not stop

reading the Holey Bible, just don't do it

at the racetrack because it will frighten the horses.

Read the word of God, I pray you, as I have cited it

for you in the Holey Bible www/kingjamesbibleonline.org

But if you gerrymander the verses, as many of your clergy

do, you best eat the Jesus Fish Flesh with a side of honeycomb.

Let your own reading be your tutor whose end is to

hold, as it were, the mirror up to the paracosm of religion

to show a scam that is as old as the pyramids.