I. Leviticus 19:28
God forbids piercings and tattoos, even Jesus tattoos.
'Swounds! They pierced His hands and feet.
Holy stigmata, Godpod!
II. Leviticus 19:27
God forbids hi-top fade haircuts and beard shape ups.
Deliver us from the cuttings of the mohel.
III. Deuteronomy 22:11-12
God forbids fabric blends. Maybe wrinkles etch the Virgin Mary?
And dudes must wear tassels---?---don't ask; don't tell.
IV. Deuteronomy 22:5
God forbids slacks and jeans, ladies. No puffy shirts, gentlemen.
Cassocks and albs--a dress by any other name would look
as sweet, Holy Father. When in Rome. . . .
V. Numbers 15:38
God reminds men to wear tassels, again. And now with
blue ribbons--royal blue or maybe pastel blue?
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
VI. 1Timothy 2:9-12
St. Paul says no cornrows, ladies. No bling, no designer
brands. One way to keep women ignored in church--and silent.
VII. 1Corinthians 11:14
Good idea of St. Paul to get rid of long, flowing hair
on men, especially if the men are still wearing pastel
blue tassels. There might be something wrong with
that--if we ask?
Read the word of God, I pray you, as I have cited it for
you in the Holey Bible www.kingjamesbibleonline.org But if you
gerrymander the verses, as many of your clergy do, you best
eat the Jesus Fish Flesh with a side of honeycomb.
Let your own reading be your tutor whose end is to hold,
as it were, the mirror up to the paracosm of religion to show
a scam that is as old as the pyramids.
No comments:
Post a Comment