The Seven Ways Prozac Could Have Changed the Bible

To Prove You a Cipher

     I. If Abraham had taken Prozac.....

          "You know, Sarah, I think it's time we retire

                to a sunny beach."

 II. If Moses had taken Prozac.....

           "613 rules?  I must have been nuts!

                Eat, drink, and be merry."

            

III. If Mary had taken Prozac.....

           "Joseph, we have to talk."

 IV. If John the Baptist took Prozac...

            "I feel like a hot shower and a ham

                 and egg breakfast.  Tonight, I'll

                 take in a show at Les Girls."

    V. If St. Peter had taken Prozac.....

             "Good luck finding followers, young

              fellow, but I have to get home after

              work to help my wife--her mother

              has been under the weather."  

    VI. If Jesus had taken Prozac.....

              "Guys, come over for supper.  I'll

                    show you my new dining room

                    table I just finished."

     VII. If St. Paul had taken Prozac.....

               "Don't knock it.  It cured me of those

                     migraine flashes of light and that stress

                     related thorny sensation."

            The unvarnish'd tale:  Religion--

         a drug of such a damn'd nature.