The Seven Deadly Reasons for Not Welcoming Jesus as a Next Door Neighbor

I.   You would be living next door to a squatter, not a homeowner.
          Matthew 8:20        Mark 1:38
          Mark 8:27                 Luke 4:43


II.  You would be living next door to a neighbor who quit His trade
      and is supported by wealthy women.
          Luke 8:1-3


III. You would be living next door to a neighbor who practices
      questionable hygiene, does not believe in pathogenic causes
      of disease, or clinical causes of mental illness and seizures.
          Matthew 8:2-3    Matthew 8:14-15    John 13:4-12
          Luke 11:37-38      Mark 3:1-5                 Luke 7:37-38
          Matthew 15:1-2   Luke 8:43-48           Mark 1:40-42
          Mark 9:17-29


IV.  You would be living next door to a neighbor who does
        does not plan for the welfare of His family, encourages
        others not to minister to the needs of their parents, or
        does not cut His lawn.
          Matthew 6:24-34    Luke 12:20-33   Matthew 8:21-22


V.   You would be living next door to a neighbor who is
       estranged from His family.  A family that tried an
       intervention to get Him help for His disturbing behavior.
          Mark 3:31-35        Mark 3:21

VI.  You would be living next door to a neighbor who has
       turned His abode into a half-way house for sell-outs,
       convicted felons, and prostitutes.
          Matthew 21:31-33   Luke 18:10-14   Matthew 9:10-12

VII. You would be living next door to a neighbor who exhibits
        symptoms of mental illness such as Dissociative Identity
        Disorder, paranoia, and clinical depression.
          John 10:14-18            Mark 9:31-32   John 10:30
          Matthew 26:36-41   Luke 21:16-17   Mark 14:34-36
          Matthew 4:1-7  


               Muhammad would be an exemplary neighbor--a 
          responsible family man, a war hero, a well-groomed,
          successful businessman, an effective community
          leader who speaks persuasively about
          living a decent, scrupulous, life.  Maybe just
          a little quirky with his musings on recurring
          dreams about angels and riding on a 
          flying horse.


               Buddha would be a quiet neighbor, but there could
          be some problem with pest control and his need for 
          Meals-on-Wheels and the food bank.


               Confucius would be a pain in the ass if he got 
          involved with the neighborhood association.  Moses
          would not be too neighborly because of his arrogant,
          insular attitudes.  Saul or Paul---the original 
          Madman.  Give us a break--he works like the end
          of the world is near.


               Well, nobody's perfect.

The Seven Deadly Verses in the Bible That Denigrate Dogs

I.   Deuteronomy 23:18
                    Dog and whore in the same sentence can't be good.


II.  Proverbs 26:11;  2Peter 2:22
                    When a dog "kisses" its owner, the dog wants the
                    owner to vomit so the dog can enjoy a warm meal.
                    Part of the Intelligent Design of dogs.


III. Matthew 15:26-28
                    Yeshua was a little embarrassed here.  Perhaps He
                    realized some dogs are IAMs dogs, named for dear
                    old Abba.


IV.  Luke 16:20-2
                    Eating crumbs is not good.  How about having sores
                    licked by dogs?  Maggots are more antiseptic.


V.   Matthew 7:6
                    Unclean swine and dogs in the same sentence.  Not
                    likely to find any dogs in Heaven--or the potbelly
                    yuppy puppies.


VI.  Philippians 3:2-3
                    Dogs, evil workers, and mutilation in the same verse.
                    And circumcision mentioned in the next verse.  
                    "Beware of Dogs"?  Duh!


VII. Revelation 22:15
                    The proverbial man's best friend grouped with
                    witches, sexual perverts, murderers, idolaters, 
                    and liars.  Poor Fido.  Poor Faithful.


     Read the word of God, I pray you, as I have cited
     for you in the Holey Bible. www.kingjamesbibleonline.org
     But if you gerrymander the verses, as many of your clergy
     do, you best eat the Jesus Flesh Fish with a side
     of honeycomb.

     Let your own reading be your tutor whose end is to
     hold, as it were, the mirror up to the paracosm
     of religion to show a scam that is as old as the pyramids.
   


     


     


     


     
                    

The Seven Deadly Shibboleths of Orwellian DoubleSpeak in the Bible

I.   SLAVERY IS FREEDOM!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth: 
                                                                 Romans 6:16-22;  1Corinthians 7:22;
                                                                 1Corinthians 6:19-20;  1Peter 2:16;
                                                                 Revelation 22:3;  John 8:36


II.  IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth:
                                                                 1Corinthians 1:17-19;  Luke 10:21;
                                                                  Romans 1:17


III. FREEDOM IS OBEDIENCE!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth:  
                                                                 Isaiah 1:19;  Matthew 5:19;
                                                                 John 3:16-18


IV.  THOUGHT CONTROL IS FREE WILL!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth:  2Corinthians 10:5


V.   CRUELTY IS KINDNESS!  KINDNESS IS CRUELTY!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth:
                                                                 Proverbs 25:21-22;  Romans 12:20;
                                                                 Acts 9:16;  Romans 8:18;
                                                                 2Corinthians 4:16;  Hebrews 12:5-6


VI.  SALVATION ONLY THROUGH FAITH!  
        SALVATION ONLY THROUGH ACTS!
        SALVATION THROUGH FAITH AND ACTS!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth: 
                                                                 Acts 16:30-31;  Ephesians 2:8-9;
                                                                 Matthew 25:31-45;  John 8:51;
                                                                 James 2:26;  1Peter 1:17-19


VII. LAST IS FIRST!  FIRST IS LAST!
          Regs from the Ministry of Truth:  Matthew 20:1-16


     This is the Thirteenth Hour.  The Ministry of Truth
 strongly suggests that you avoid reading the entire
 Holey Bible.  The believers must remain confused
 with fables and distracted by the Theater of the 
Absurd--naive miracles, compulsive rituals, and the
bigotry of monotheism.




          


          
          

The Seven Deadly Sinners in One Christ in the Bible

I.   The Angry Christ                         Mark 11:12-14;  Matthew 21:18-20
          Jesus was really pissed off at figs for being nakedly dioecious,
          thereby fooling His Dad on Day Three.  Maybe the fig tree
          was a virgin?


II.  The Verbally Abusive Christ    Matthew 5:22;  Matthew 23:17
          What ever happened to the soft word that turneth away wrath?
          And practicing what is preached?


III. The Cruelly Violent Christ      Matthew 10:34; Luke 19:27;
                                                                    Luke 22:35-38
          A sword is a sword, is a sword, is a sword.  Jesus should have
          tried smiles instead of similes--and murder.


IV.  The Slick Christ                            Matthew 22:21
          Looks like Caesar bought naming rights on some of Yahweh's
          Creation.  The original deed to the Creation was absolute
          as per Psalm 24:1; Haggai 2:8; and Colossians 1:16.


V.   The Deceitful Christ                      Matthew 13:10-11;  John 7:6-10;
                                                                     1 Peter 2:22
          Time seems to have dimmed Peter's memory.  Wonder what
          the Aramaic word for "is" is?
     
VI.  The Racist Christ                          Matthew 15:22-28
          Jesus used the canine epithet on a distraught, plain Canaanite
          mother.  But her sincere, humble response embarrassed this
          Son of God more than the mocking crown of thorns.


VII. The Sinful Christ                            Luke 3:21;  Mark 10:18
          What did Jesus do?  Now available--a new plastic band "WDJD"
          To be worn by a whole flock of believers who were washed in 
          the tears of Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, and Jimmy Swaggart.


   Which Christ is worthy of imitation?  Forgive them--they
    know not what they are doing.