'Tis a Quick Jest from Me to You

A Seat for Baseness

     Give me leave.  Scripture says there lies
a sapphire throne.  Isaiah 6:1;Ezekiel 1:26.
Good.  YHWH goes to this opulent throne
and seats Himself.  Revelation 3:21.  Mark
you that.  How dost thou understand Scripture?
Could YHWH sit on His sapphire throne 
without an ass?
     'Tis e'en so?

O Heavenly Mingle! Be'st Thou Sad or Merry?

Everybody wants to go to Heaven,
but nobody wants to die....

     Who is the Heavenly Activities Director of Heaven?

       And what events are planned for all the Souls?

       Does the Bible tell you so?

The Seven Divinely Inspired Pick-up Lines in the Bible

He...?

She...!

        I.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your hair is like
                        a herd of goats? 
                       Song of Solomon 4:1

            She:  You mean nappy and smelly!

      II.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your cheeks 
                        are like half pieces of pomegranate?  
                        Song of Solomon 4:3

            She:  You mean I have chubby cheeks with rosacea!

     III.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your legs are
                         like jewels?  
                         Song of Solomon 7:1

             She:  I hope you don't mean emeralds and 
                        amethysts--green and purple!
     
      IV.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your breasts
                         are like two fawn?
                         Song of Solomon 4:5

             She:  You mean my breasts are covered with fine fuzz!


        V.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that you have
                         pigeon eyes?
                         Song of Solomon 1:15 

              She:  Does that mean I'm fat, too!


      VI.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your navel
                          is like a rounded goblet?
                          Song of Solomon 7:2

             She:  A creep with a navel fetish!  What do you want
                        to drink from my navel, you creep!


    VII.  He:  Has anyone ever told you that your belly 
                          is like a heap of wheat?
                           Song of Solomon 7:2

             She: You're saying I'm an armful!  A heap!  A heap!
                       A heap is fat and shapeless! 

                        I would rather have a Hell of a compliment than 
                        a Divine one.  Next, you will say I have a big nose!

                        Go mingle with the Pods of God, you loser!