R.I.P. "Nigger" But Is NAACP, PC?

At Fools I laugh, not fear them.

    The  NAACP buried "Nigger" the other day. There had been no news about "Nigger" being sick. "Nigger" seemed vigorous, hanging out with the "homeboys," "bitches," and "nappy-headed ho's." The cause of "Nigger's" demise seems to have been death by smothering. Evidently, "Nigger" was buried alive.

   "Nigger" had a rough childhood because low self-esteem that was caused by bullying by his neighbors and peers---"Mr. Charlie," "Hillbilly," "Redneck," and especially "The Man." In "Nigger's" later years, "Nigger" became strong and stared down his former tormentors. Instead of hiding out, "Nigger" called out to the tormentors, shouting "I am Nigger, and I am proud." "Nigger's" former tormentors began to respect "Nigger," and even emulated "Nigger."

    Those who knew "Nigger" always mention how "Nigger" helped the first black American who was a humorist and comedian, not a buffoon. That was the never to be forgotten Dick Gregory. 'Nigger" helped to advertise Mr. Gregory's autobiography, entitled "Nigger." "Nigger" made money and made us laugh. If "Nigger" was sacrificed for our sins, maybe like the Christ, "Nigger" will arise from the guarded tomb.

    If the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) is out to lynch all those who don't fit its idea of correct politics, they should open a great pit and bury the "Colored People."

A Modestly Proposed Declaration of Independence for July 4, 2007

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a divided people to dissolve the political and military forces which have cobbled them into an unnatural nation and have placed them under foreign domination and to assume among the powers of the earth a right of self-determination and the right to stand as an independent nation of like-minded people, a respect for the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We, the human beings dwelling in the region of the world drawn on Western maps and labeled as Iraq, hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all men have the ability to institute their own form of government among mankind, deriving this just right by whatever reasoning they choose.

Whenever any form of foreign government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the affected people to stop it and institute their own government. The history of the current President of the United States of America is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having a direct object, the establishment of absolute American tyranny. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our customs and unacknowledged by our laws:

-- for giving his assent to pretended legislation

--for quartering large bodies of armed troops among us

--for protecting these troops by mock trial from punishment for any murders

--for cutting off our trade with all parts of the world

--for transporting us beyond the seas to be tried for pretended offenses

--for abolishing our existing laws, establishing an arbitrary government

--for suspending our law-making bodies and killing our leaders

--for burning our towns and destroying the lives of our peoples

--for transporting large armies of security forces to complete the works of death

--for inciting domestic insurrection

--for bringing on the inhabitants of our frontiers the merciless al Qaeda

In every stage of these oppressions, we have petitioned for redress; our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. As President of the United States of America, he is unfit to preach freedom.

We, the peoples dwelling in what is called Iraq, appeal to the supreme judgment of the world. As free and independent peoples, we have the power to dispute among ourselves, conclude peace among ourselves, contract our own alliances, conduct our own commerce, and do all the other acts and things independent people may of right do for our lives and honor.